Thursday, November 11, 2010

Play Dates

Why did someone invent this idea? I mean the thought of getting together and being social with people I don't know and probably have nothing in common with while our children play does not appeal to me in any way. I'm not even really into long term socializing with people I like, so the idea of doing it with a complete stranger doesn't appeal to me.

The idea of dropping my kids off at someones home I don't know is even less appealing. Yes, I am jaded, yes I don't trust humanity but you know what, I have reason not to! I've seen the dark side of humanity too many times to NOT be jaded. I've watched kids abuse each other, I've watched parents abuse kids, I've seen what happens on the playground. Do I really want my kids possibly being exposed to more of that? No.

I do not understand why I have to be made to feel like a bad or neglectful parent because I don't like the idea of just dropping my child off with people I don't know. Will I end up doing it, yes. Why? Because it's the "norm" and if I don't then I am a horrible parent. I will hate it, but everyone else will be happy, until something happens to one of our children. Somehow I would probably still be the bad parent though, because I left my kid with someone I didn't know. Modern social ideas for children really suck.

Temper Tantrums

Honestly I never understood the concept of temper tantrums. When I was a kid my stepsister would throw them and I would be embarrassed for her because she looked ridiculous and was acting like a brat.

Right this moment my youngest (turns 7 next month) is cleaning up the mess he made during an extend tantrum. The tantrum started down here when he misbehaved, was put in time out, misbehaved in time out, got a privilege taken away, threw even more of a fit and was sent to his room. From there he proceeded to destroy his bedroom. He is a highly intelligent child, he was told that his punishment was because he was misbehaving but yet he continued. I can not understand what would posses a child to basically continue to make their punishment worse on purpose. It's baffling!

So now he has been left to his room until he cleans up the mess he has made, even if it means spending the rest of the day up there doing it instead of having fun with his family on his day off from school.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Coldness

Did you ever wake up cold? Not physically but the kind of cold that starts from your bones and radiates out?

This morning I woke from a nightmare, not the zombie apocalypse kind that was yesterday, but the worst feasible fear come true kind. I was shivering, teeth chattering cold, but I was wrapped in warm blankets and it was at least 69*F in the room. I can't seem to warm up either, it feels like I was dunked in ice. I took my temperature and it's normal so it's not a physical ailment, but the coldness is still there.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Zombie Apocalypse

So I had the weirdest dreams last night, yes dreams. The weird part is the two dreams were one complete story line, however dream one was the end of the story line and dream two was the beginning of it.

Dream 1
I wake in a 6'x6' room with steel reinforced doors on all four walls. Each door had 2 locks and a metal locking bar. There are two large canvas bags of supplies on the ground across from me under the marks . Outside the doors there is scratching, banging and moaning. They are still out there, my alarm goes off on my watch and it's been another 12 hours, so I make another mark. I look through my supplies hopefully there is enough, hopefully I can survive on half a bottle of water and a granola bar a day with a can of Vienna Sausages every 3 days. I fall back asleep. My alarm goes off 4 more times. The noises at the door stopped a little before the last alarm. Three more alarms, no noises at the door and then there is a banging and voices. A mans voice "Hello, is there anyone there?" I wonder if I am insane, it would be a logical conclusion seeing as I was holed up alone in a pit of hell for a week now but the man calls again. I try to respond but my voice doesn't seem to want to work. Slowly I open the door and there are 4 men and 2 women there. The man that was calling out looks at me with a look of astonishment and sadness and then I pass out. When I wake again he offers me a protein drink in a can and asks me how long I've been here, I put up 7 fingers, he asks "days?" and I nod yes, "but that's since the outbreak began, have you been alone all this time?" I nod again and he hugs me and holds me tight. The others are watching us, watching me. One of the women tell me it's over, that the zombies have all starved to death because the only people alive had all locked themselves away, they were searching for the survivors. I wondered if I was a survivor or a victim. When my strength is enough we move on, weaving through the labyrinth of tunnels through several more crossroads, locking the doors on either side only leaving the ones behind us unlocked. They told me they had locked the initial door so that nobody could come up behind us, but that they've been locking all the side doors for the same reason. They were leaving the path back to the safe house open so that they can send the survivors there. I asked why they were not sending me back, they said they were afraid I wouldn't make it. Eventually we come out to the top side. The sun is so bright I hide my face, hissing like a vampire in the old movies. Once my eyes adjust I look around and it's not like the movies, there were not burning and decayed buildings, everything looked normal except for the bodies everywhere. Then I wake.

Dream 2
I'm at a large indoor Farmers Market, it's inside a huge old factory building. People are milling around shopping, it's a normal day until the zombies start banging on the doors trying to get in. People start screaming, and trying to get to safety, scattering like cockroaches. After a moment of panic I start thinking, this place must have an underground of some kind so I go to the closest market, grab two of their in store canvas bags and load up on bottled water, granola bars, Vienna Sausages, a LED lantern and tons of batteries. Then I head toward the back of the building. I find a heavy metal door that has a large sign NOT FOR PUBLIC so I open it, there are stairs leading down, so I take them. There is still lights at this point so I can see my way down the stairs to a large store room, beyond the store room is a tunnel. I go down the tunnel and there is another door, a heavy metal one with two locks. I unlock it and there is a small room with three other doors, I check the other doors and they are all locked from the other side, but I also have locks on this side, so I lock all 4 doors and decide to stay here. The walls are made of cinder block and the doors are reinforced metal. Nothing can get it, hopefully I can survive long enough to eventually get out. Then I wake.

It was so strange that the dream went in the order that it did. I wonder if my subconscious was trying to make sense of the first one by creating the second one. Strange.